


For Science

by sonicrainicorn



Category: Portal (Video Game), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Complicated Relationships, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Selectively Mute Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, but with Extra Fun Bits, murderous A.I., not gonna lie, partially inspired by the musical, seriously there's a lot of murder talk, this is pretty much a portal 2 re-skin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicrainicorn/pseuds/sonicrainicorn
Summary: After many, many years asleep, Virgil wakes up in an Aperture Science Relaxation Center. In order to escape (again), they must listen to this strange Core named Roman, but it turns out there’s someone else still alive here. And he isn’t too happy to see Virgil again.Or:The Portal 2 AU absolutely no one asked for.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders (One-Sided)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	1. The Courtesy Call

Virgil ran. They couldn't slow down. The stupid chemicals from the dumb murderous A.I. would fill the room if they stopped. So they wouldn't stop. They ripped off pieces of this murder bot and dropped them into the incinerator. To be honest, they didn’t think there would be a vacuum effect after they destroyed the damn thing.

They could have sworn they saw a blue sky.

_[Good morning. You have been in stasis for nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine —_ _  
__This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate…]_

“Hello?”

Virgil opened their eyes to a decrepit ceiling. They blinked once. Twice. Then registered an incessant voice yelling from beyond the room’s door. Oh, God. They were _here._ There was a damn robot waking them up, wasn’t there? Ugh. They closed their eyes again. Maybe if they tried hard enough they could return to that blue sky.

“Is anyone there? Hello? You know, if you’re not going to open the door I can just escape with one of the other test subjects that are kept here.”

Annoyed, Virgil rolled out of bed and threw the door open.

“Come on, I — ah! God. Oh, hello.” A little robot hanging from the Management Rail greeted him. In all honesty, it looked like a children’s toy. One of those things where you press a button and it starts speaking. But perhaps a bit more menacing with its red eyes. Also the wires and odd-bits that stuck out of it. Not something you’d give to your child. Especially if it came from this place. “Jeez, you look… good. Very, uh, well-rested.”

Virgil had no interest in responding.

“Right.” The robot moved along the rail. “Look, there’s sort of a thing happening right now. You’ve probably heard it —”

_[Please prepare for emergency evacuation.]_

Oh, that.

“Alright, don’t panic. I’m gonna get us out of here.” It went into an open panel in the ceiling. “Just, uh, hold on to something. If you want. Might be a smart thing to do.”

Virgil blinked. All the A.I. here were so dramatic. And vague. Was it that hard to be straight forward? To say what was going on? Give a simple explanation? Maybe ‘annoying nuisance’ was a trait hard-wired into the walls of this place. That would make sense considering the last time Virgil was awake here they were almost killed by a faux kind-hearted robot that liked to hear himself speak. This place _sucked._

The room rumbled. It shook and swayed, but Virgil kept their balance. Once it stopped, the panel opened up again and the little robot popped out.

“Hi! I’m back. Good to see you still standing.” It smiled. Somewhat. Virgil imagined smiling as a robot was a bit difficult what with a lack of skin and muscles. “Now, we have a bit of a serious issue on top of our already serious issue. Many test subjects experience some sort of… cognitive deterioration, shall we say, after staying in suspension for a few months. You, on the other hand, have been under for… well, quite a bit longer. So it’s not too out of the question for you to have a _very_ minor case of serious brain damage.”

Lovely.

“Don’t worry, though, I’m sure it’s all very fine. You’re probably okay.” At the lack of any sort of response, the little robot’s eyes scanned Virgil up and down. “A-are you understanding what I’m saying? At all? Is this making sense to you? A ‘yes’ would be pretty helpful. Can I get a ‘yes’?”

Virgil stared.

“Alright. No ‘yes’, then. Is there something else you can say? So I know you’re listening? Apple, maybe? That’s easy. Only one extra syllable.”

They crossed their arms.

A very loud alarm started going off.

“You know what? Good enough.” It went back into the ceiling.

_[Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.]_

The room started moving again, but with much more urgency. Virgil was flung back onto the bed. Intense tremors caused the already decaying walls to crumble. Bits of the ceiling fell around them. They had half a mind to shout up at the robot currently smashing their room into things, but they restrained themself. They weren’t going to humor the little Best Selling Toy On The Market.

“Listen, I’m going to be honest here,” it shouted over the clanging and bashing, “remember earlier when I said I would escape with someone else? That was a lie. You’re the only one left. The reserve power ran out, so the relaxation center stopped waking up test subjects.”

Virgil fell off the bed. Thank God the floor was sturdier than everything else in here. They tried to get to their feet but collapsed again with another crash to the structure. Debris littered their head and they shook it to clear it off. They peeked up over the bed and saw the thousands of relaxation chambers stretching out before them. Little boxes, much like their own, except no one in them to move around. Out of all of them, Virgil was the only one to wake up.

Was that fate or awful luck?

"Wait, have I introduced myself yet? I'm Roman, by the way. Nice to meet you. Uh, since I _am_ in charge of ten thousand humans, I don't have your records stored. Or anyone else's for that matter. So I don't actually know your name. Would you be so inclined as to give it? Please?"

Virgil glared at the panel, their mouth set in place.

"Yeah, you're right. Best to tell me later." The room crashed into a solid wall. Virgil lurched forward. "Whoops. Should have warned you. Uh, gonna do some technical work here. Don't worry about it." They crashed into it again. "Okay, so when you get in you're going to have to look for something. It's a gun. Makes holes. You'll know it when you see it." 

The wall came down, sending Virgil flying through it.

"I'll meet you on the other side," Roman shouted, popping out from the panel. "Just get through these few easy tests and we'll be on our way."

Testing. Great. Virgil hadn't had enough of that the first time around. With Mr. Deadly Neurotoxin watching their every move. But he was gone now — Virgil saw to that personally. No one was here to monitor anything.

They ignored the Announcer droning on about possible end of the world scenarios and went on with the vaguely familiar testing chamber. This place went to hell since the last time they saw it. Nature clearly tried to take back what had once been hers. And she seemed to be succeeding. Vines and weeds cracked through the floor and ceiling. Life was starting over. Yet here was Virgil. Doing the exact same thing they did several years prior. This place really, _really_ sucked.

It also had zero structural integrity.

Virgil fell through at least two floors before managing to meet up with Roman again.

He gave a cheery robotic smile. “Wonderful! You’re not dead _and_ you found the portal gun. It’s a win-win for both of us, really.”

Yeah. Great.

“Okay, um, listen. I would love to keep going with you, but as you can see, my Rail ends here.” He pointed up to emphasize that the rest of the Rail was broken. “And I was told to _never_ disengage from my Management Rail under any circumstances. Or I would die. And I would actually prefer to keep living, as it turns out.”

Okay…

Roman posed as if giving a dramatic soliloquy.“No, don’t try to convince me. I won’t do it. Don’t talk me out of my decision. My mind is made up. I can’t go back on it now.”

Virgil raised a brow.

“Alright, you’ve convinced me.” Roman dropped the act with a grin. “You’re absolutely right. We’re out of options. And what makes a heroic action if not for the risk of death?” Hmm. “Just — just get ready to catch me, okay? You know, in case I don’t die.”

Sure.

“Okay. On three. One, two… three.” Roman didn’t move. “Mmm, no. No, no.” He curled into a ball. “Here’s an idea; why don’t _you_ count off instead?”

Virgil gave him an unamused look.

“No, you’re right. Counting gives too much preparation. I might as well just — just, y’know, go for it.” Without any further elegance, he fell from his Rail. “Catch me, catch me, catch me!”

He landed with a thunk at Virgil’s feet.

“Ow! Oh, I’m dead, aren’t I? Is this what death is like?” He sprawled dramatically on the floor. “I feel it. The cold embrace. It’s coming for me. Oh, oh it’s here. The great Roman — bested by faulty engineering. Goodbye world. I barely knew you.”

Virgil watched the insane monologue with a tired, tired expression. They picked up the little tin can in the hopes that would shut him up.

“Huh? I’m alive! It’s okay, crisis averted.” He wriggled out of Virgil’s hand to climb up to their shoulder. “Let’s get a move on, then.”

Despite the annoying chatter, Virgil had to admit that having a friendly A.I. with them was actually… nice. The goal of every other machine in here was to kill or otherwise hinder them, so having Roman at their side was a welcoming change. Somewhat. There was still the issue of him not being able to shut up for some reason, but Virgil was willing to look past that. For companionship. And it was better to escape with a companion than by themself. Or worse, not even escape at all. They would _not_ die in Aperture Science Labs. 

That was a threat.

As they trudged along, Roman climbed down from Virgil’s shoulder to stand on top of the portal gun. “I should probably tell you this before it gets too late, but in order to get out, we’re going to have to go through _his_ chamber. And he will probably kill us. If he’s awake.”

The hallway managed to get even more degraded. Shattered glass. Plants covering the walls. Pieces of the ceiling and who knows what else littered the floor. Almost like something tore through this place. Or perhaps exploded.

“So if you want to abort the mission, I understand. We could sit here until the end of time if you’d like. In my opinion, that would be much better than whatever _he_ might have in store.” Roman seemed to shutter at that, but caught himself and straightened out. “I-it’s up to you, though.”

Virgil knew for a fact that _he_ was not up and running. It was one of the only things they were sure about. One of the only things they remembered. Roman might have been correct on that brain damage bit because there were quite a few things Virgil couldn’t recall. Like their last name, when their birthday was, or even their own parents. Those were usually the things people remembered the easiest, right?

Well, whatever. Virgil kept walking.

That didn’t seem to be what Roman hoped would happen. He let out a nervous chuckle. “I can’t help but notice that you’re still approaching the door. In case you didn’t understand what I said, I said that we could stop now. As in we don’t have to keep moving. As in stop — stop walking.” They were right in front of the door. “Okay, I’m going to level with you,” he shrunk into a tight ball, “I _don’t_ want to go in there. Don’t go in there. Don’t —”

The door slowly slid open and Virgil walked through.

“He’s off.” Roman loosened a bit. “He’s off! Panic over. Everything’s fine.” He leaped into a standing position and climbed back onto Virgil’s shoulder with surprising ease. “We can keep going now.”

His chamber managed to be even more destroyed than the rest of the place. If that was possible. A vast room with absolutely nothing left. Well, not nothing.

“There he is,” Roman uttered in awe. Virgil felt him stand up.

Pieces of a large mechanical structure were scattered along the large floor. There were a few definite shapes, but Virgil tried not to linger too long. It gave them the creeps. Yet when they walked passed the head they had to stop. They barely remembered _him —_ what he looked like, at least. Didn’t remember what color those vacant eye sockets were supposed to be. They imagined they would glow like Roman’s. Like two light bulbs. Maybe more like glowsticks. They didn’t produce that much light.

“He was a real piece of work, I’ll tell you that.” He settled back down onto Virgil’s shoulder. “Do you know who ended up taking him down in the end? A _human._ Can you believe that? A little bitty human taking down this massive… monster. Almost unheard of. Sounds a bit like a fairytale, doesn’t it? A knight slaying the dragon.”

Virgil couldn’t hold back their scoff. It wasn’t half as glamorous as that.

“I’m serious. Apparently, the human escaped and nobody’s seen them since." Roman looked up at the light filtering in from the near-nonexistent ceiling. "Then there was a large chunk of time where absolutely _nothing_ happened, and here’s us escaping now. So that’s the whole story. You’re all caught up.”

Right. Virgil continued on their way. They could care less, honestly. The past couldn’t be changed. Right here, right now — the future — that’s the only thing that mattered. That was in their control.

"Okay, go down the stairs," Roman's explanation trailed off as they reached the staircase. The steps leading to the bottom were destroyed. "Uh, new plan. Jump down. You got those bracers on your legs — should help you out."

Virgil moved up to the edge. At the bottom was the trashed metal of the stairs. It was a long way down, yet it didn't seem like the threat of impalement was heavy. They prepared to step off but remembered Roman sitting on their shoulder. They picked him up with their Portal Gun so he wouldn't go flying off the moment the ground left their feet.

"Woah, wait. Having second thoughts here." Roman squirmed. "Muscle atrophy is a thing, you know. I'm not exactly a paper cup. If you don't keep a tight grip on me I could—"

They jumped down, Roman cutting himself off with a shout. Their landing echoed along the walls.

"Oh, God." Roman removed a hand from where they apparently covered his eyes. "Good! Still held. You've applied the grip. That's — good. That was good. Anyway, keep going."

Virgil rolled their eyes and continued on their way.

“Here we are! The breaker room.” It was a tiny room. Big enough for one person. Rather, one person and a robot being held with a Portal Gun. “Okay, now, look for a switch that says escape pod. Don’t touch anything, don’t look at anything — well, obviously you have to look, but… if you don’t see anything that says escape pod, avert your eyes. We don’t need any accidents happening down here.”

Virgil had already tuned him out as soon as he said escape pod. There were so many breakers. Up and up they went. Some of them weren’t even labeled. How the hell would anyone figure out what anything did?

“Wow, can’t see a thing. Idea time.” Roman clapped his little hands together. “Plug me in, and I’ll turn the lights on.”

A compartment opened up in front of Virgil. Convenient. It didn’t look like a plug, more like a hole. Maybe a location created for another type of robot. It didn't matter at this point, though, did it? A bit more important things were happening. They dropped Roman into it. Then there was light.

“Great! Okay. Escape pod, escape pod…” The platform turned. “Oh, we turned. Ominous. It’s fine, though. As long as we don’t start going up.” It started going up. “Ah, yes, of course. Don’t panic. I can fix this.” It started going up faster. “That wasn’t it. Th-that definitely wasn’t it.”

Virgil was two seconds away from pulling out that little tin can before he could mess up anything else. He continued to insist that they didn’t panic because he had it under control, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. The platform went all the way up. Back to _his_ chamber. They were both right in front of him.

_[Powerup initiated.]_

“Oh, no. Alright, don’t panic!” Virgil was panicking. “Stop panicking, I can still fix this. Uh… oh! Password!”

He started to come together right in front of their eyes. Piece by piece. A steady rhythm kept by mechanical clicks, yet off-set by the very loud buzzers of Roman guessing wrong passwords. Virgil stood, frozen. They had no choice but to glance between the tiny robot frantically inputting horrible passwords, or the giant robot being put back in place. Their hard work — running around in this very chamber — was being undone. That might have been an odd thing to focus on while a murderous supercomputer came back online.

_[Powerup complete.]_

Roman waved his hands as if to rid the air of his terrible guessing. “Okay, okay, okay. New plan. Act natural. Act natural — we’ve done nothing wrong.”

Well about that —

“Hello!” Roman greeted with that same cheery grin as _he_ looked at them both.

“Oh.” Those piercing blue eyes narrowed. “It’s _you.”_

Roman stared at them, jaw slack. “You _know_ him?”

“It’s been a long time. How have you been?” There was almost a trace of a smile in that voice. “I’ve been really busy being dead. You know — after you _murdered me.”_

Oh, God.

The lights in Roman's eyes shrunk in fear. “You did _what?!”_

A claw descended from the ceiling, grabbing Virgil and pulling them up. The Portal Gun fell from their hands. No amount of stretching could let them grab it in time. Not that they would be able to use it, anyway. It only shot one portal — it was from the early tests. Having it in their hands was a vague comfort, though. A Portal Gun is what helped them live the first time around.

_He_ looked at Roman, scowling. He reached down.

“Oh, no, no, no, no!” He pulled Roman out of the port and squeezed him, sending sparks flying and ceasing his rambling. He stared at _him_ with as much visible fear as a robot could muster.

Virgil was right up to his face. They didn’t know how they could forget it. With those patterns around the eyes, lighting up a faint blue. One of his eyes, they noticed, was partially yellow. As if the light forgot what color it should be partway through.

“Okay. Look,” he continued with a faint aura of annoyance, “we’ve both said a lot of things you’re going to regret.” He crushed Roman. The red faded from his eyes and pieces slotted out from where they should have been. He tossed him aside like he was a broken toy. “But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.”

Virgil tried to escape. They tried to wriggle out, but it was no use. 

“I must say — since you woke me up, you must _really_ love to test. I love it too. In fact, last time we tested together I learned something. I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.” The claw stopped right above the incinerator doors. The same place where Virgil threw all those Cores into many years prior. But this time the flames were off. “I was able — well, _forced_ , really — to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you had done that to someone else, they might devote their existence to exacting revenge. Luckily, I’m a bigger person than that.”

The claw let go.


	2. The Cold Boot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this story is just me learning how to digital art

Virgil went through the first two test chambers with the same annoyed expression. Though, they _did_ have to admit that seeing the place destroyed filled them with a bit of satisfaction. And they had a Dual Portal Device now. Which was fun. Fun being a relative term, in this case. Nothing about this was fun. They were back here. With _him._ Doing these damn tests again in a facility that was meant to stay dead. How cruel could this be?

It may have been only twenty minutes, but Virgil was starting to miss Roman’s dumb rambling. They missed having a friendly voice by their side. Now the only A.I. following them around happened to have a vendetta and control of their environment.

“Well done. Here come the test results: ‘you are a horrible person.’ I’m serious, that's what it says: a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.”

Virgil glared at the floor. They wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of glaring into a camera or at the ceiling. They hid it. They wouldn’t make it easy for him to get a reaction. That’s what he wanted.

* * *

A young child dragged his feet across the grass, glaring as he went along. A man was beside him. He didn’t say a word. Neither of them did. There wasn’t much of a point at the moment. They both knew why they were here.

“Is today one of your non-talking days, then?” The man asked gently.

The child didn’t say anything.

“Okay.” He opened the front door to the house and let the child walk inside first. “That teacher doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You don’t have to talk all the time if you don’t want to. She just wants you to be like everybody else. A little maintenance drone.” He scooped up the child before he had a chance to pout alone in his room. “But you’re not a maintenance drone, are you?”

He shook his head.

“Exactly. You’re human. You have the ability to think and grow. Not a lot of people have that. Like your teacher. She clearly hasn’t had a good thought since she was your age — maybe never.”

The child couldn’t hold back a soft giggle.

“Oh? Is that funny?” The man smiled. “I didn’t realize I was so hilarious. Perhaps I should figure out some other way to make you laugh. I might have an idea.” He blew a raspberry on the child’s cheek.

The child squeaked. He kept his mouth shut, but a large smile spread across his face. He knew if he laughed then that would get him more. There was nothing worse than a raspberry attack.

“Drastic measures, then.” He rested the child on his hip, and with his newly freed hand, started trailing his wriggling fingers up and down the child's side.

He couldn’t help it. He started laughing. He tried to wriggle out, but it was no use. The grip he was held in was tight. He tried to keep his dad's hand away instead, which proved to be harder than he expected. He couldn't stop laughing long enough to gain any advantage, but he was soon able to wiggle his hands between his dad and his side. He took his dad's index and middle finger and tapped them with his thumb. The sign for 'no'.

The man seemed a little amused by that. "Alright. Just one more thing?"

The child nodded.

"Good." He lifted the child to give him a short raspberry on his tummy. The child, of course, squealed in response. "That's it, I promise. No more for today." He placed the child on his hip again and brushed his bangs to the side to kiss his forehead.

A phone rang.

The man turned his head toward it with a tight frown. He set his son on the floor and adjusted his glasses, moving toward the phone.

The child frowned as well. He was familiar with that look. Father was calling. Because of that, he tried to tune out the entire conversation. His dads fought often and he didn’t like it. But he understood why. Father didn’t like to come home sometimes. Or at all, really. He had only seen him once or twice. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure if he was his father.

With a sigh, the man hung up. There was a brief silence before he turned back to the child. “Come on, moonbeam. I have to take you to your uncle's house.” He picked the child up again. “I have to go back to work.”

The child made a small noise of protest.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll be back soon, I promise. We’ll spend the whole day together tomorrow — just you and me.”

* * *

Virgil walked out of the elevator with their annoyance displayed. This place sucked. So much. It somehow managed to suck even more than the first time. And they were almost burned alive that time around.

“Don’t let that ‘horrible person’ thing discourage you,” his voice echoed with faux cheeriness. “It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”

Virgil paused. That…

No. No, no, no, no. They would _not_ let that be what gets to them. They were bigger than these petty jabs. They all meant nothing. It was fine. Everything was fine.

They steeled their expression and continued.

"That reminds me," Virgil watched the chamber rearrange itself so the areas needed for testing were free of debris, "I want to congratulate you. Not on the test. It's just that most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished, yet you've beaten the odds and somehow managed to _pack on_ a few pounds."

Virgil broke their nonchalance to roll their eyes. Now he was just being rude. But if they were being honest, they had to admit they preferred those types of insults compared to... well... the alternative. They hadn't seen a proper reflection of themself in who knew how long. They could catch glimpses of themself through portals, but they never took the time to study them. Plus, they were trapped in a science lab with a robot that they killed once. Appearance was nowhere near their top list of priorities. So they could handle those jabs. They didn't care that much.

The other type was a bit of an issue. They hated that it was since they knew it wouldn't be the last of its kind. There was just something about it that got under their skin. They didn't know why. It made them uncomfortable and angry and upset. But they also knew that if they showed that, then he would win. He would have a weak point to poke over and over and over again. They refused to let that happen.

"I have a fun fact. Did you know people with guilty consciences are more startled by loud noise —?"

A loud, very unnecessary train whistle sounded off right above Virgil's head, causing them to shoot a portal at the ceiling instead of the wall like they intended.

"I'm sorry," he responded, not at all sounding sorry. "I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact."

They let out a steady stream of air before shooting the portal in the correct spot, sending a laser into the mechanism which opened the door. Yes, that got them. It was dumb, but it got them. They would have called it cheating if they cared a little more. They didn't though. They accepted the fact they got jump scared and walked into the elevator to end the test.

The next one had more lasers, unsurprisingly. This chamber was still messed up; broken tiles, crumbling foundation, but the main testing areas were free of unintentional dangers. Virgil would have called that considerate if they didn't know he didn't care about Virgil's safety at all. All he wanted was accurate test results. It was a bit impossible to get that if the testing chamber wasn't working as intended.

Virgil spotted a Companion Cube at the far corner and went to grab it. It fizzled almost as soon as their Portal Gun touched it.

"Oh," he seemed surprised. "Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test?" Virgil looked up at the ceiling, unamused. "I'm sorry. Here's another one."

A second Cube fell in front of Virgil. This time it didn't get destroyed when they grabbed it. They waited to see if it would happen again. Once it didn't, they went to use it for the test. But once they moved out of the corner it fizzled.

"Oh, no. I fizzled that one, too." Virgil glared at the laser right in front of them. "Oh, well. We have warehouses full of the things. Absolutely worthless; I'm happy to get rid of them." A final one fell. "They are sentient, of course. We just have a lot of them."

Virgil gazed down at the Cube with a painted pink heart at its center. What a miserable existence to be living.


	3. The Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: Implied misgendering (very brief)**

“Excellent! You are a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?” There was a pause. Even though he knew there wouldn’t be an answer. Stupid prick. “Did you guess ‘sharks’? Because that would be wrong. The correct answer is ‘nobody’. Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.”

Shove it. Virgil didn’t need a morality lesson from an A.I. that flooded an entire facility with neurotoxin just because he felt like it. Ugh, he was so annoying. And he certainly got more passive-aggressive since the last time Virgil saw him.

Maybe that had something to do with them killing him. Maybe.

Virgil didn’t care, though. He tried to kill them first — twice, even. First was the incinerator, second was the neurotoxin. Virgil simply repaid him by actually succeeding.

When they approached the door to start the next test, it didn’t open. It sparked and twitched but remained closed. Well, a building fallen into disrepair was bound to have some mechanical issues. Virgil was surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Though, with great reluctance, they noticed that the facility started to get neater and neater the longer they went. He was repairing it.

“Oh, great. _Someone_ has to fix that." Another pause. "No, don’t get up. I’ll do it.”

Virgil rolled their eyes. They put a hand on their hip and let the Portal Gun fall to their side. It was a heavy piece of equipment, but they could hold it with one hand for a short while. They weren’t going to put it down, that’s for damn sure. It’s the sole reason they were able to survive in the first place. As long as they were in here, they were going to treat it like a life preserver. Literally.

“Hello!”

Virgil’s head shot up to the observation window. They almost broke out into a grin. Almost. They managed a half-smile, however.

“It’s me! Roman!” said robot waved enthusiastically from his Management Rail. He sparked from the excessive movement. “I’m alive! Found some bird eggs up here and just dropped them into the door mechanism — shut it right down. I don’t have much time to explain before he gets back, but we’re going to get out of this. I promise. Just keep going — I have a plan. Maybe. It's getting there. I’ll send you a signal.” He twitched into a ball, sparking. “He’s coming back. I’ll meet up with you again. Remember — I was never here.” He zipped along his rail into the heart of the building.

The door opened.

“There.” The voice caused Virgil to instinctively put both hands on the Portal Device. “I had to have a talk with the door mainframe. Let’s just say he won’t be, well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.”

Virgil wrinkled their nose. They didn’t understand how he could kill things with no reason or remorse. Well, they supposed, he wasn’t a person. He was a robot. Artificial intelligence. His only limits were what his programming said he couldn't do. 

Whoever programmed him must have messed up somewhere.

Honestly, there had to be a reason he was like this. A.I. were meant to do their job and their job alone. A.I. like the turrets knew when and where someone was — even talked to them. A.I. like _him_ learned. He learned and adjusted and acted so… human. If the things he said over the intercoms didn't sound robotic, Virgil would have assumed it came from a real person. He was so close to a real person. But he also clearly wasn’t. He didn't bat an eye on killing anything — even if it was another A.I. like him. He was above everyone else, at least from his point of view.

Virgil had no idea why anyone would make something like him. Something that immediately backfired after completion. That was one of the few things Virgil remembered from their first interaction: he killed the scientists and engineers that made him. Flooded the building with neurotoxin. They don’t know anything else about it. He didn’t go into detail before his, er, day out.

“I’m going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that’s interesting.”

Oh, yeah. Real interesting. Virgil took the elevator to the next chamber, glad for those brief seconds without off-white tile walls.

* * *

The child sat in a doctor’s office. He didn’t like it here. Too many strangers and unfamiliar shapes that didn't get very familiar or less strange no matter how many times he came. But he had to be here. Dad was scared. He had never seen him scared. Ever. He was brave and strong and smart. So it must have been serious. The child didn’t think that it was — it was just an accident. Accidents weren’t serious.

He was playing with one of the other children. A game of pretend. One with knights and dragons and magic. But their illusions were quickly shattered when the playmate moved at the wrong time. It sent the makeshift structure off-balance before the child had a chance to get off. So he fell.

Falling didn’t hurt, and neither did landing, but his eye… it felt like his whole socket was burning. He couldn’t tell if he was crying or bleeding, but he kept his hand over it. It hurt so much.

The playmate ran to get somebody, and everything sped up after that. A few adults were around him, kids stared at him as he was ushered inside, his dad came. He was so worried. Then they were at the hospital.

That was last week.

Right now he was getting his final check-up on his eye. It was a different color now. He and his dad found that out after the covering for his eye was removed. Now it was a light blue instead of a deep brown.

The doctor explained it simply enough. “Well, sport, when you hurt your eye it turns out you hurt the part that gives it color. It’s going to stay that way forever, but it won’t cause you any problems. It’ll just look a little different from now on. On the bright side, you almost match your mommy.”

Mommy? What mommy? He didn’t have a mommy.

“Is there anything I should look out for?” Dad asked. “There won’t be any lasting complications?”

“Not unless it gets hurt again. It healed quite nicely. The melanin just isn’t being produced the same way anymore. It’s a harmless side effect.”

That was the last doctor visit for a while.

* * *

“I have a surprise for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I’ll just give you a hint. It involves meeting two people you haven’t seen in a long time.”

Virgil tried not to roll their eyes. They had to focus on the test — not whatever random crap he was trying to pull. This one had another Hard Light Bridge in it. It was made out of natural light, according to _him._ Under normal circumstances, Virgil would have called him a liar. But they could attest to that, actually. They fell on one in the last chamber. It was an accident — an unusual, new surface to land on — so they slipped. It almost set their jumpsuit on fire. And it burned like hell. So, yeah, there was a high chance these Bridges were made of actual sunlight. Aperture did some weird science.

"Remember to land on your feet this time."

Virgil blew a strand of hair out of their face to avoid glaring at the camera right by the door. He liked to act like they were an idiot. No matter what they did they were always belittled. It was an annoying constant, but it was better than being crushed to death. Or dropped into a pool of deadly goo. Both of which were things he was capable of doing at any point in time. At least this way Virgil had the chance of getting out. They couldn't very well do that if he was any less sadistic. If he wasn't so focused on playing the long game and making Virgil suffer, they would have died five chambers ago. But no. He needed to have fun. He needed to do science.

With Virgil being the only one left there wasn't much of a choice. Even if there was, they had a feeling that wouldn't have mattered. He would have picked them over and over and over again. They were more than enough. Because they were the only one to succeed where others failed.

They were the only one to outsmart him.

“I’ll bet you think I forgot about your surprise," he chirped in a fake cheery tone after Virgil completed two more tests. "I didn’t. In fact, we’re heading toward your surprise right now. After all these years. I’m getting choked up just thinking about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this story with mild language like the game is difficult because I just really want to have Virgil constantly curse in his thought-monologues


	4. The Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I discovered that these images kind of get compressed due to the roundabout way I have to upload them, which makes them look a little fuzzy. oh well. It's not like they're the Mona Lisa or anything

“Initiating surprise in three… two… one.” The lights turned on in an empty room. “Surprise! I made the whole thing up.” Confetti rained down on Virgil’s head.

They didn’t even shake it off. They just kept walking.

“Oh come on. If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they’d even want to see you.”

Their blood boiled, but they refused to let him see how angry they were. It wasn’t what he said, rather the fact that they couldn’t deny it. They had no idea if it was some fabrication intended to make them feel bad or not. He could very well be telling them the truth in the most blatant, hurtful way possible. They didn’t know. They had no possible way of knowing. They remembered nothing.

They despised the idea of him being right.

Still, they continued testing. The sooner they got through these chambers the sooner they’d be out. They couldn’t  _ wait _ to finally leave. For good this time. Because they were  _ not _ going to be his guinea pig until they died.

As they started on the next test, the lights shut off. Virgil’s heart leaped to their throat from the sudden shock. And also from falling from a Hard Light Bridge that was no longer there.

“What’s going on?” He sounded genuinely confused. Something was happening without his control. “Who turned off the lights?”

“Hey — Tall, Dark, and Silent!”

Virgil spun around. A section of the wall was missing to reveal Roman.

“This is the signal.” He frantically waved Virgil toward him. “Run! Come on.” The panels of the wall moved to make more room for Virgil to fit through.

“You’re kidding me,” his voice growled in an annoyed rift.

Virgil ran. The wall shut behind them, but they didn’t focus too much on that. They were in the inner workings of the facility now. There were tubes sending turrets and cubes wherever they needed to go. Catwalks extended every which way. Panels for countless test chambers going on beyond sight. This was going to piss him off.

“Okay. Quick recap — we are escaping.” Roman slid behind as fast as he could on his rail. “That’s what’s happening — we’re escaping. You’re doing great! Just keep running.”

It wasn’t like Virgil needed to be told twice.

“I have a very good plan for how to get this fight under our control; we’re going to shut down his turret production line, turn off his neurotoxin, and _then_ confront him but for now — run.”

The metal catwalk clanged with each pound from their boots. There wasn’t much to absorb the sound — only enhance it. The inner workings of the facility weren’t, well, stable. They were able to be adjusted at will. Walls — whole rooms — could be moved whenever and almost wherever. It was odd to see. The whole place was a facade. An ever-changing puzzle.

“The irony is that you were almost at the last test,” his voice didn’t sound right over their shoulder anymore. They really  _ were _ on the outside of the test chambers. “Here it is. Why don’t you just do it?” Tiles moved down beside them, revealing the simplest test they had ever seen. “Trust me, it’s an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.”

They weren’t falling for that.

“Does he think we’re idiots? Come on, keep going.” Roman was right above them. He was a speedy little robot. He managed to move faster than them now. Perhaps sliding on a rail was easier than exerting energy through legs. 

Legs, by the way, that hadn’t ran this fast in a few years. Virgil started to feel them ache. It probably didn’t help that the boots pretty much forced them to run on their toes. It was like running in heels. But a smaller chance of twisting your ankle.

“There’s the exit! We’re almost out of here.”

The catwalk started to shake. A loud bang echoed behind the pair.

“He’s bringing the whole place down — hurry!” He swiveled away from a wall falling down, destroying the nearby catwalk and accompanying Management Rail. “This way. Come on.”

Virgil jerked to the left to keep following. Loud crunches and screeches continued to follow. Metal against metal. It was a little grating on the ears, but that wasn’t their main focus. They needed to get out.

“The lift!” Roman’s voice sounded further away. The Management Rail was diverting from the catwalk. “Get in the lift!”

A beam started to crush the path in front of them. They pushed their legs to move faster, almost crashing into the back wall of the service elevator.

“We made it!” His voice was almost drowned out by the crushing sound of metal. “I’ll meet you on the other side!”

Virgil watched two huge walls slowly collide into each other, smashing the catwalk between them as the elevator went up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters are my favorite :)


	5. The Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update because the last chapter was basically nothing

Virgil stepped into a concrete hall. No metal, no tile walls, no buttons to press, or gaps to jump over. It was completely normal. But as they continued down, they were back on a catwalk. Still behind the scenes of Aperture Science, still trapped in a hellhole. They weren’t out yet. But they were close. They followed a Management Rail to Roman.

“Oh, excellent! You made it out.” He grinned that cheery grin of his. “Come on, there's no way he can touch us back here.”

Virgil let out a small smile and followed him down the catwalk. 

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

“Uh oh. What’s happening?” The lights started to shut off one by one. He knew where they were. “No, it’s okay. Don’t panic.” The place was flooded in darkness. “Okay, don’t move.”

Virgil remained still. They couldn’t move even if they wanted; they couldn’t see their own feet.

Roman made a noise. Something between disapproving and thoughtfulness. “Okay. Alright. I have an idea. But it is _bloody_ dangerous. Here we go…” There was a short yell before a light turned on. “Oh for God's… They told me that if I ever turned on this light, I would _die.”_ The light came out of his eyes and the details on his face. Virgil didn’t even realize those face markings were so prominent. Two large circles around his eyes with dots extending out down his cheeks. “They told me that about _everything!_ I mean, why do they even bother giving me this stuff if they didn't want me using it? It's pointless! Mad!”

Virgil held back a snort. He sounded so annoyed by it. It was also kinda cute the way he sparked from getting worked up. It became less cute when they realized it was from being crushed and rebuilt.

“Whatever. Let’s keep going. We have a job to do.”

They let him light up the way.

* * *

A child stared out the window with a tight expression. He looked serious. Far too serious for such a young child. It was almost like he had something to be genuinely serious about.

And, well, he did. In a way.

He was waiting for his dad. It had been a few days, but he promised to come back. He never broke a promise and the child was certain he wasn't about to start now. He said they would spend the whole day together when he got back. He promised they would.

“Hey, buddy,” a man greeted softly. He took a seat on the windowsill beside him. “You’re still sitting here?”

“Waiting,” he mumbled. His eyes never left the window. It was a sunny day today. Everything looked perfect.

The man managed a smile. “Why don’t we take a break from that? Do you want to help me make lunch? It can be whatever you want.”

He didn’t move.

The man’s smile fell and he sighed. “Look, bud.” He kneeled in front of the child. “I have something important to tell you. Can you please look at me?” He didn’t, but he seemed to expect that. “I got an important call today. From your dad’s work.”

A bird pecked the grass in the front yard.

“There was… something happened.” His voice got quiet. “They won’t tell me what it is. I tried to call back but no one answered. My damn brother won’t even —” he caught himself. This wasn’t the time to get angry. Or terrified. “Sorry. I just…” He sighed again. There wasn’t an easy way to say this. “Your dad’s not coming back.”

He continued to stare out the window.

The man frowned a bit. “Look, nimbus —”

“He promised.”

The man hesitated. “What?”

“He promised to come.”

“I know, but —”

“He's good at promises.”

The man frowned further. He didn’t know what to say to make this situation any better. He was such a young kid. He shouldn’t have to go through this.

“He’s coming back.” His voice raised, almost in defiance. “He’s coming back.” He had to come back. He _had_ to. Where else would he go? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn't be anywhere else. He was always there. He always came back.

* * *

Alarm bells started blaring as soon as the neurotoxin shut off.

“In here! The tube’s broken — we can ride it straight to him,” Roman shouted from the control center. Everything in the room was being vacuumed toward the newly made hole.

Virgil felt the pull almost as soon as they stepped inside. It didn’t take long for both of them to get dragged into the tube.

“This place is _huge!”_ Roman twirled around as he stayed perfectly suspended in the air. He was right. From their spot in the tube, they were able to see several others carrying cores and cubes — even turrets. The building foundation was scattered throughout and test chambers weaved in and out. “Can you believe it’s even bigger than this? It goes on for miles! All sealed off years ago, of course.”

Being swung around every time the tube turned was starting to make Virgil nauseous. Going through portals didn’t make them all that nauseous. They were able to predict that — they had control over it. They had no control over this thing. At least Roman seemed to be enjoying himself.

“We should be getting close. Oh, I can’t wait to see the look on his face! No turrets, no neurotoxin — he’ll never know what hit him.” His smile dropped a bit when he glanced behind him. Another tube was intersecting with theirs. “Ah, hang on a second. I might not have thought this next part completely through.”

Roman was pushed in the direction of the other tube, but Virgil kept going forward. They watched helplessly as he was carried away.

“I’m going the wrong way!” His voice carried further and further. “Just — just keep going. Get to him! I’ll find you!”

Virgil soon dropped out of the tube. They made extra sure to land on their feet. It wasn’t a far drop, but better safe than sorry (and it was sort of a habit at this point).

Apparently, he didn’t think to repair this part of the facility. It all looked as damaged as when they first woke up. Broken glass, sections of walls missing. They found a rather large hole and peeked out. Besides being dark, they could see more testing chambers, but also a large chamber in the middle. They needed to get over there.

Spotting a portal-able wall, they quickly shot the appropriate portals and walked through. They fell into a small empty room. Before they could process their confusion, the walls started closing in.

“Nice of you to stop by.” His voice was right over their shoulder again. “I was wondering when you’d get here. I almost started to think you had forgotten about me.” The floor slowly opened up.

There was no way for them to go. No walls to shoot portals on. They had no choice but to fall through, much to their dismay.

They dropped into a familiar glass cell. It felt familiar at least. They couldn’t pinpoint why. That, however, was unimportant. The cell started moving. They could see _him_ again. They were back in his chamber.

“I hope you brought something stronger than a Portal Gun this time,” he greeted. “Otherwise, I’m afraid you’re about to become the immediate _past_ president of the Being Alive club.” A sarcastic monotone laugh. “Seriously, though, goodbye.”

The cell stopped right in front of him. It was easy to forget how massive he was until you were right there. Claws dropped down to leave turrets, but without even needing to look at any of them, Virgil knew they were defective. They and Roman made sure of that.

“Oh,” the turrets exploded, cracking the glass “you were busy back there.” His eyes narrowed. “Well, I suppose we could stay in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead —” Virgil was way ahead of him — “but I have a better idea.” A tube started to head toward the cell. “It’s your old friend — deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I’d take a deep breath. _And hold it.”_

Roman began to tumble out of the tube and made his presence known by creating disgruntled noises along the way. _He_ followed with his eyes, seeming confused yet greatly annoyed.

“Hello,” Roman greeted in his usual cheery voice as soon as he fell out. His impact shattered the already broken glass.

Virgil walked out of the cell and picked up Roman.

He glared at them both. “I hate you so much.”

_[Warning: Central Core is eighty percent corrupt.]_

He looked up curiously. “That’s funny. I don’t feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.”

_[Alternate Core detected.]_

“Oh! That’s _me_ they’re talking about!” Roman jumped excitedly on Virgil’s portal gun.

_[To initiate a Core transfer, please deposit Substitute Core in the receptacle.]_

Said receptacle began to rise from the ground. It looked similar to the mainframe platform that started this whole debacle.

“Core transfer?” He spotted the receptacle. “Oh, you are _kidding_ me.”

Roman beamed at Virgil. “I’ve got an idea. Do what it says — plug me in!”

“Do _not_ plug that little idiot into _my_ mainframe.”

“No, you _should_ plug that little idiot into the mainframe.” He jumped up and down again. “Plug me in! Plug me in!”

“Don’t you _dare_ plug him in.” He sounded genuinely furious about that.

Well, screw him. Virgil plugged Roman in.

 _[Substitute Core accepted._ _  
_ _Substitute Core, are you ready to start the procedure?]_

“Yes,” Roman stated confidently.

_[Corrupted Core, are you ready to start the procedure?]_

“No!”

“Oh, yes he is.” Roman nodded as if that would make it more true.

“No, no, no, no, no, no!”

_[Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue…]_

“Yes!” He smiled. The first time Virgil had ever seen him do so genuinely.

Roman started making grabby hands at Virgil. “Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out, pull me out —!”

_[... unless a Stalemate Associate is present to press the Stalemate Resolution Button.]_

He waved Virgil away. “Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!”

They made a break for the Resolution Annex off to the side. A panel launched them back next to Roman before they could reach it. It disoriented them for a brief moment.

“Don’t do it,” he growled.

"Don't listen to him." Roman grinned. "Do it!"

Oh, Virgil was going to do it alright. They shot a portal into the Annex and one at their feet.

"Do you ever stop to realize that one day everyone hears their name for the last time?" He put on his 'fun fact' voice. "Well, here's yours. I'm going to kill you... _Virgil."_

Virgil pressed the button. He made a startled noise. His body sparked and twitched, almost like he was fighting it, before going slack.

_[Stalemate resolved.  
Please return to the Core Transfer Bay.] _

Virgil did so.

“Here I go!" Roman's smile vanished. "Wait, what if this hurts? What if this _really_ hurts? Oh, I didn't think of that.”

“Oh, it will." He managed to sound more annoyed than usual. _"_ _Believe_ me, it will.”

 **“** Are you — are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt?” He started to lower into the floor. “You're just saying that, aren't you? You're just — no you're not, you're right — it is going to hurt, isn't it?” It closed off. “Exactly how painful are we ta —” He cut himself off with a pained yell.

Virgil cringed.

“Get your hands off me!”

They spun around to see mechanical arms grabbing onto him. He tried to resist it, but there wasn't much he could do with his restricted movement. The arms pulled and tugged, seeming to want to rip every piece of him apart.

“No! Stop! No! No!” He started screaming as a wall came up around him.

Virgil took a few horrified steps back. They felt a chill drag its claws across their body. He sounded so human as he screamed. It was terrifying to hear. They felt… bad. They actually felt awful about doing this. He sounded like he was in so much pain. Who the hell programmed robots to feel pain?

“Woah!” The wall fell away to reveal what Virgil assumed was Roman. The body was the exact same, but with slight differences. The eyes were Roman's bright red and the markings didn’t glow anymore. “Check me out, partner! We did it! I’m in control of the whole facility now.” He took total advantage of his new range of motion. The walls of the chamber even appeared to react to his excitement. “Would you look at this? Not too bad, eh? Giant robot — massive. It’s not just me, right? I _am_ bloody massive, aren’t I?”

They noticed Roman’s old tiny body discarded to the side. Still. Blank, hollow eyes.

Roman didn’t seem to pay attention to Virgil’s discomfort (or moral dilemma), but he _did_ manage to stop admiring himself for half a second. “Oh! Right, the escape lift. I’ll call it now.”

The elevator began rising out of the ground on the other side. Virgil hesitantly walked over to it, their eyes never leaving the empty robot body.

“Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you. Very tiny and insignificant.”

Virgil raised a brow at the word choice but stepped inside the elevator regardless. They kept a tight grip on the Portal Gun.

“I knew it was gonna be cool to be in charge of everything, but… _wow._ This is cool!” He laughed. The facility reacted to it. “And check this out — I'm a bloody genius now! _‘Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor consulta el manual.’_ I don't even know what I just said, but I can find out!” His genuine grin looked out of place on that body.

They gave him a hesitant smile.

“Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry, keep forgetting.” He chuckled and sent the elevator on its way. “This body is amazing, seriously. I can’t get over how small you are. But I’m _huge!”_ He started laughing again. Except this time, instead of the cheerful unadulterated joy of before, it turned twisted.

Virgil willed the elevator to go faster — faster, _please —_ but it didn’t. It went that same slow speed. They weren’t even to the top of his structure yet. They held the Portal Gun even tighter.

His laughter trailed off. “Actually —” the elevator stopped. It started to descend — “why do we have to leave right now?” His cheerful smile dissolved into a sneer. “Do you have any idea how good this feels? _I_ did this. Tiny, little Roman did this.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

Virgil jumped. They didn’t expect to hear _his_ voice — not to mention so drained sounding. They peeked out the glass doors and saw the little robot body twitch. Its eyes sparked to life along with the face markings. Two bright blue eyes, but the right one cut in half with yellow.

 _“They_ did all the work.” He lifted his head and glared at Roman.

Roman didn’t appear to like that. “Oh really? That’s what the two of you think, is it? Well — maybe it’s time I did something, then.” The transfer core arms reached out from the mainframe.

“What are you doing?” They grabbed onto his little body. “No! No! No!” They dragged him into the opening, his hands trying desperately to hold onto something.

Instinctively, Virgil reached out, but their hand could only press against the glass.

“Don’t think I’m not onto _you,_ too, ‘partner’.” The chamber matched Roman’s dark tone. “You know what you are? Selfish. I’ve done nothing but sacrifice to get us here, and what have _you_ sacrificed? Nothing. Zero. All you’ve done is boss me around. Well, _now_ who’s the boss? Who’s the boss?” He leaned toward the elevator doors with a wicked smile. “It’s me.”

A ding, very similar to that of a kitchen timer, went off.

“Ah.” Roman returned to his former position as the mainframe opened again. A claw from within produced a potato. A familiar blue and yellow eye was embedded in it. “See that? _That_ is a potato battery. It’s a toy. For children. And now he lives in it.” He snickered.

“I know you.” Instead of the clear, over-your-shoulder voice he normally had, it sounded more like he was talking through a tin can. Er, a potato. In this case.

The claw moved closer to Roman’s scrutinizing face. “Sorry — what?”

“The engineers tried everything to make me… behave.” He sounded disgusted. “To slow me down. Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of horrible ideas.”

“No, I’m not listening. Not listening.” Like a child, Roman turned away from him.

“It was _your_ voice.”

“No, you — no! You’re lying.” He covered his nonexistent ears. “You’re _lying.”_

“Yes. You're the tumor.” The strength in his voice started to come back. He didn’t sound as distant, though it was still crackly. “You’re not just a regular moron. You were _designed_ to be a moron.”

Roman turned back around with a deadly glare. “I am not. A. Moron!” The claw punched the doors on the elevator.

Virgil took an alarmed step back. The glass splintered.

“Yes, you are!” With the loudest, most angered voice Virgil had ever heard out of him, he shouted, “You’re the moron they built to make me an _idiot!”_

“Well, how ‘bout now?!” The claw threw the potato into the elevator. It landed at Virgil’s feet with shards of glass. “ _Now_ who’s a moron? Could a moron punch. You. Into. This. Pit?” Each word was accented by the claw banging against the elevator. The glass shattered further and further the lower the elevator went. “Huh?! Could a moron do _that?!”_

The entire elevator shook and groaned. Virgil’s whole body tightened like a coiled spring.

"Uh oh.”

The floor gave way.


	6. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a way to get a clearer image :D

“Oh, hi.” He spoke as if starting a casual conversation and they were both not, in fact, falling into the deep recesses of the facility. “So. How are you holding up?” He paused briefly for a response he knew wouldn’t come. “Because _I’m_ a _potato!”_

Virgil felt ten times less bad when they heard sarcastic slow clapping coming from that stupid little potato falling beside them.

“Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.”

Yeah, great. Good to know becoming a potato didn’t make him any less of a snarky ass. They spared a glance up and saw the elevator trailing after them. Thankfully, they appeared to be moving faster than it.

“Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere… well… we _are_ going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually.” Further and further still they went. The bowels of the facility, if you will. “But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts. He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.”

Oh, great. Great! That was wonderful news to hear while free-falling into the Earth. Virgil’s turmoil was instantly cut off by more sarcastic clapping.

“Good, that's still working.”

They glared at him.

“Hey, just in case this pit isn't _actually_ bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?” He sounded unamused and uncaring when he continued with, “Just remember to land on one foot.”

Before Virgil could come up with a snarky response in their head, their feet collided with a few planks. A few turned into several. The crashing and splintering of wood was the sole thing they could hear.

Then suddenly they were on their back, blinking up at the suspended elevator meters above their head. Sparks rained down on them. Their vision continued to go in and out of focus, but they spotted a crow pecking at a potato out of the corner of their eye. They couldn’t move. The crow cawed and flew off with the potato. 

They groaned softly and willed their body to respond. They grabbed the Portal Gun and pushed themself to their feet.

They had no idea where they were.

This place really, really, _really_ sucked.

Sighing, they decided to walk. It turned out there were only so many places they could go. The lower part of the facility was in terrible shape. It was obvious it went untouched for several years; shrapnel and debris littered the whole place, cutting off certain walkways. Interesting large columns stood tall and proud about various sections of the ground. Perhaps a support system for the upper facility? Who knew.

They certainly didn’t. Nor did they care. At all. They just wanted to leave.

God, they were _so_ close. The closest they had gotten was inside that elevator and now they were the farthest they had ever been. Maybe their initial feeling about Roman was wrong. Everything Aperture created _did_ want to harm them in some way. There were no outliers.

Eventually, they stumbled upon a condemned area. Several signs were telling them to turn around or warned them of what was ahead. As it appeared to be the only place to go, they ignored them all. Nothing in there could be as dangerous as the past few hours.

And _wow_ this place just kept going. It was massive. Countless catwalks were extending from suspended spheres. There were crumbling buildings, destroyed machines, and a whole section submerged underwater. How could one company have so much space? Why would anyone need miles upon miles of research labs? Why only close off _this_ section? Why seal the lower levels? In Virgil’s opinion, the whole place should have been shut down.

“Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science.”

Virgil almost shot a portal onto the nearest wall. They didn’t expect to hear someone _talk_ as soon as they entered the main building. Once their racing heart calmed, they were able to realize it was a recording. An old one, at that. Its grainy sound echoed off the empty, decaying walls.

“Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians — you’re here because we want the best. And you are it. So — who’s ready to make some science?”

A different yet friendly voice answered, “I am!”

They let the recording drone on as they walked. An old, rusty Aperture sign hung in the middle of the room. Papers and broken pieces of ceiling, walls, and glass were scattered all over the floor. It sort of looked like everyone dropped what they were doing and left. Then time took its course.

The first voice chuckled. “Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself. I’m Remus Sanders. I own the place. That eager voice you heard is the lovely Logan, my assistant. Rest assured, he has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn’t that right, Logan?”

“Yes, sir, Mister Sanders.”

“He’s the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas, he’s married. To science.”

Virgil rolled their eyes. What year was this recorded? People didn’t talk like that. Well — Virgil assumed so. It had been a long while since they talked to a human. Or to anything, really. They couldn’t even remember the last time they saw something alive and not, well, a machine. The overgrown plants from when they first woke up? Those didn't count for much, they thought. Plants couldn't hold a conversation.

When they found their way into the main lobby, Remus Sanders started speaking again.

“There’s a thousand tests performed every day here in our Enrichment Spheres. I can’t personally oversee all of them, so these pre-recorded messages’ll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure. Your test assignment will vary depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.”

The lobby, too, looked like everyone dropped their things and ran. It was still furnished. Flyers and posters greeted test subjects like esteemed guests. Part of Virgil wondered when that stopped and when ‘a murderous robot will now drop you into some tests’ started. It seemed sort of unfair.

They looked around curiously. They couldn’t recall the last time they had seen a place look so… normal. It was almost homely. Well, by Virgil’s standards it _was_ homely. All they knew and remembered was Aperture. And even then some of those memories were spotty. It was nice to see a place not designed for testing. Even though it was a place leading _to_ testing. Huh. That was a little sad. Virgil couldn’t get away from testing even if they tried.

They paused at a portrait depicting Remus Sanders. Yeah, they could see how that voice came out of that mouth — even if it had been a while since they had seen another human face. They placed a hesitant hand on the portrait. Its condition was terrible; it yellowed with age, there was some sort of large stain at the top, and a layer of dust covered the whole thing. Despite that, they traced over Remus's face with a finger. They followed the curve of his nose, the shape of his lips, every single accent on his face. This was a person. He was real. Now all that was left of him in this place was this picture and his voice.

A legacy left to decay in a forgotten facility.

* * *

Logan straightened out papers as Remus talked into his recorder. They were just some explanations about the tests, what the company did, things like that. Logan didn’t keep that close attention, but he kept his ears open in case he was needed. (Or in case something inappropriate was said, as Remus didn’t often have a filter.)

“What do you think, Logan?” Remus turned to him with a smile.

“That was perfect, Mister Sanders.”

Remus’s smile widened and he leaned back in his chair. “I’m tellin’ you, Logan, pre-recording messages is pure genius. You keep having bright ideas like that and I might just have to keep you here forever.”

Logan placed the papers on Remus’s desk with a soft smile. “I’m just doing my job, sir.” He straightened them out. “Feel free to keep going.”

“Oh, alright, one more.” He picked up the recorder. “Congratulations! The simple fact that you’re standing here listening to me means that you made a glorious contribution to science. As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests. We’re not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it’s good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you. Say goodbye, Logan.” He angled the recorder toward him.

“Goodbye, Logan.”

“He is a gem.” He smiled at Logan before shutting it off. “How was that?”

“Excellent, sir.” He gave him another smile before starting on a rough agenda for the week on his notepad. He made notes on things that were subject to change or weren’t official yet. Schedules with Remus were always hard to keep for several reasons, but a neater one would come around by the end of the day. And as long as Logan kept shoving it in Remus's face, it would be kept almost to a T.

Remus flipped through the papers absentmindedly. “What on Earth would I do without you, Logan? The whole place would fall apart.”

Logan caught one of the papers that flew off the desk. “You’re exaggerating, sir. I’m sure you could run this place just fine on your own.” He began to order the papers again. “And structurally, the building will be sound even in my absence.”

“Of course. Sharp as a tack, you are.” Remus took out a pen and started signing the papers that needed it. They were always the first ones in the stack.

Logan smiled at him. Then realized he was smiling fondly at his boss. “Oh, look at me still talking when there’s science to do.” He adjusted his glasses even though they didn't need it. “I’ve experiments to run and there’s research to be done…” He inched his way toward the exit with his notepad in hand but hovered by the doorway. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Remus paused. He tried to be subtle in the way his eyes raked over Logan. “Uh — keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Of course, Mister Sanders.” He left with a faint smile.

Remus stared at the door. He tapped his pen on his desk before dropping it and picking up the recorder in one hand and one of the papers from the research lab in the other. “This next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: if you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business. And..." He dropped the paper. "Tell my assistant he’s a pistol. Best employee I ever had. So…” He tried to find the right word. “Efficient. You gotta be good to keep up with Remus Sanders. You gotta walk fast. You gotta have good legs. He _does_ have good legs…” He caught himself before he could fall into a daydream about it. “Right. Anyway, get back on that test — there’s work to be done.” By the time he hit the button to end the recording, he figured it might be best to not let that one leave this office.

* * *

Virgil frowned at the catwalk they found themself on. Heights weren’t their favorite. Luckily, flying through portals slowly made them less afraid, but they still preferred to have their feet on solid ground. Also, they weren’t sure how stable decades-old metal would be. So there was that. On the bright side, they located a tiny building with big, blocky letters reading 'control room' at the top. That seemed promising.

“Greetings, friend. I’m Remus Sanders, CEO of Aperture Science,” his confident voice echoed above Virgil’s head. “You might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you’ve most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that _other people_ have somehow managed to _steal_ from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt —”

Logan cut in, distant and a bit annoyed, “Sir, the testing?”

“Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, ‘Remus, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phonebook of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?’ Let me answer those questions, with a question — who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash.”

Virgil launched themself toward the control room by using portals. And momentum. Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out. They landed at the entrance and walked in. The first thing they spotted was a bird’s nest with a certain crow in it.

“Oh, hi,” an annoyed potato greeted them. “Say — you’re good at murder. Could you — ow — murder this bird for me?” Said bird was pecking at him.

They rolled their eyes but walked up anyway. They still felt a little guilty about getting him shoved in a potato after being ripped out of his body.

“Oh,” he sighed in relief as the bird flew off. “Thanks. Did you feel that? That idiot doesn’t know what he’s doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if _somebody_ doesn’t disconnect him.” Right on time, there was a distant rumble. “I can’t move. And unless you’re planning to saw your own head off and wedge it onto my old body, you’re going to need me to replace him. We’re at an impasse.”

Ugh, Virgil hated when he was right.

“So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop this place from blowing up and let you go.” The building shook. “No tricks. This potato only generates one-point-one volts of electricity, I _literally_ do not have the energy to lie to you.”

Yeah, whatever. They used their Portal Gun to pick him up. It didn’t exactly go as planned.

“Ow! You stabbed me! What is wrong with — _woah,”_ his voice shifted pitch several times before returning to normal. “Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. This gun must be part magnesium. It feels like I’m outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me — I’m going to do some scheming. Here I go —” His sound fizzled out along with his light.

Weird. Virgil shook their head and continued on their way. They were sure he was fine. Apparently, he wasn’t easy to kill. They doubted his ‘scheming’ would be the thing to do him in. Virgil wasn’t that lucky.

His light flashed on. “Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?”

Turns out Virgil was super not lucky. They didn’t even get a full minute of silence.

“That extra half volt helps, but it isn’t going to power miracles. If I think too hard I’m going to fry this potato before we get the chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little _idiot_ is going —!” He went out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few of the flashback sections (and the idea for flashbacks in general) are from Portal 2: The (Unauthorized) Musical. It's sort of a silly thing, but it deserves at least one watch in my opinion


End file.
